Y
29 October 2005
29 October 2005
Jun
yes. i know wat's the problem ald. the problem is i'm too alone. it's been quite some time. when was the last heart-to-heart talk with any of u? like donkey years ago ok. for quite a few days i felt terrible like mad and i din really say it out. so wad was it bout ? i dunno. can u believe it? i actually dunno. i guess it's that i-feel-abandoned feeling again. i can't believe it myself. wa, AGAIN? i'm like totally sick and used to that abandoned feeling. but trust me, soon i will get over that sickening feeling. after all, sick but true? ya, i'm used to it ald man. haha.
suicidal symptom? i'm jus drunk la. define drunk? i drank. oh wadever. yes, drunk. u must experience to know how i felt. haha. nonsense jus come out.i was frightened. wad is happening? and i jus couldn't stop for some time. couldn't fall aslp. so i only slept like 3hours den have to wake up for sch. waking up after being drunk is quite terrible. the first thing i thot was oh shit, what did i do? den i ans myself, you did alot of rubbish. thank you man, it's like the rain's fault, i think. haha.
wad suicidal symptom again?! calling out for help after noticing the existance of that horrible feeling. the ends totally ignored me. so i went on to think more. i gave some here and there signals, went unnoticed. it's ok, used to it ald. so majority of that horrible feeling dissolved into my sleep. half cry to slp. so i woke up and found myself outside the sch library. i feel new? ya, that i'm-new feeling. i realised it's all alright la. it's not becos i cant live without u. it's becos i reckon i will be happier wif u ard. but like wad choice do i have now? it takes two hands to clap. it's a two way thing. and i've come to realise it's been a one way thing since MONTHS ago. i will forget bout it. i'm tired ald, really. gimme a break. i will see wat happens.
report book? haha.
eng 57 c5
higher chinese 62 b4
amaths 52 c6
emaths 44 e8
chemistry:) 57 c5
physics 59 c5
combined humanities 50 c6
pure geography 51 c6
class position 19/41
L1R4 25
L1R5 31
comments: Junhui has a pleasant disposition. she is an independent learner who sets her priorities right and works hard towards achieving her goals. she shows determination and perseverance in whatever she undertakes. to her friends, she is a motivator who constantly encourages them to focus on their studies. she is a good listener and offers good advice when confided in.
my expression was like :0 all the while when reading the comments. haha. "independent learner who sets her priorities right and works hard towards achieving her goals." i agree i'm more of a independent learner. but set my priorities right and work hard towards achieving my goals? i should question myself wad the shit was i doing the night before chem exam. becos of some argh matter i wasted hours rotting. two weeks b4 exams i rot the whole week thinking it's ok. i dunno whr did my brain go, seriously. sigh. haha, i love "determination and perseverance" but believe me, mine dissolved years ago. still cant find. becos i'm tired, haha. "motivator who constantly encourages them to focus on their studies". oh well, like my motivation is of any shit use. i gave all the encouragement i could give and it's rather... really rather useless.oh wadever, dun complain:) "good listener and offers good advice when confided in" like excuse me, as if who ever ever confide in me? can laugh till my head drop man. confide in me... undeniable, i like it when ppl confide in me. but the thing now is NOBODY CONFIDES IN ME LA. ok sorry :) haha.
i was like half dead and half really wanting to die ald by 1pm. but i still dragged myself to bugis. buy candies? haha. some task so i can forget bout that wadever-horrible feeling. the fructose factory:) i went straight took the " i love you" rock and wanted to pay. den stopped. eh? "i love u" rock. SO WRONG. haha. i'm not buying for my boyfriend can, for goodness sake. boyfriend next time la:) haha. den i decided to buy heart rocks instead. as in, heart shape. ya,lol. ok seems wrong oso. but AIYA WADEVER LA. haha, so i bought it. so much for buying u candies. den miscommunication occur. sucky man. FINE LOR. i'm not sad anymore. cool ? haha.wad rubbish
night walk is nice. but night walk in rain and lightning is ten times nicer man. haha. so cold, so alone, so dangerous. yet nice. i love the rain more than anything else:)
holiday! i wanna go out with so many ppl. haha. ya, you and you. you you you you you and you. LOL. suntanning ? woohoo !! and thank god i can finally stop seeing those sick ppl ald. for two whole months. i'm like in seventh heaven man. NO NIT TO SEE SICK PPL FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS:) haha. let this sucky-like-hell year be history man and i will welcome nect year without those horrible memories. new year, new life. let all those sick ppl sick together all they wan and they should jolly well get lost. fuckheads :)
leaving only you and me:)
the man:) i understand all that u've done. i understand wat u're doing. i noe it's tiring, i noe it's depressing, i noe it's difficult. everyone will understand one day. i can see your tears, i feel for you. i understand. i noe like me u wont give up. i respect u and i really really love you.
i'm gonna do it. i admit now i have to do it. i cant hold on liddat for long. i mus really do otherwise. it's for everyone's good. for your good, my good, his good, her good, their good, our good. everybody's good. i noe all of you are waiting for me to do this. ok, i will do it. i will. cos there's really no other choice. 21, i promise. i really promise. and i will write the next diary entry that day. i dun want to read my diary at all. it's full of sadness i can cry if i read jus one page of it. i'm like afraid of my diary. LOL. for the time being, let's pretend i dun have det at all. haha. ahhhhhhhhhh i dun want to watch mtv and cry again. damn retarded sia.
gosh. thank god i'm away from u for remedial lessons. i'm saved from much disgust:) thank you. and i got 15 mosquito bites, 4 on one knee alone. that's super funny man. haha. and i promise i will eat more. bones are scaring me. it's getting really scary. hahaaa, all so random.
i'm so damn proud of end second. errr? haha.
i'm in love with you already. how ?
simplyjun. totally in love with you now.
yes. i know wat's the problem ald. the problem is i'm too alone. it's been quite some time. when was the last heart-to-heart talk with any of u? like donkey years ago ok. for quite a few days i felt terrible like mad and i din really say it out. so wad was it bout ? i dunno. can u believe it? i actually dunno. i guess it's that i-feel-abandoned feeling again. i can't believe it myself. wa, AGAIN? i'm like totally sick and used to that abandoned feeling. but trust me, soon i will get over that sickening feeling. after all, sick but true? ya, i'm used to it ald man. haha.
suicidal symptom? i'm jus drunk la. define drunk? i drank. oh wadever. yes, drunk. u must experience to know how i felt. haha. nonsense jus come out.i was frightened. wad is happening? and i jus couldn't stop for some time. couldn't fall aslp. so i only slept like 3hours den have to wake up for sch. waking up after being drunk is quite terrible. the first thing i thot was oh shit, what did i do? den i ans myself, you did alot of rubbish. thank you man, it's like the rain's fault, i think. haha.
wad suicidal symptom again?! calling out for help after noticing the existance of that horrible feeling. the ends totally ignored me. so i went on to think more. i gave some here and there signals, went unnoticed. it's ok, used to it ald. so majority of that horrible feeling dissolved into my sleep. half cry to slp. so i woke up and found myself outside the sch library. i feel new? ya, that i'm-new feeling. i realised it's all alright la. it's not becos i cant live without u. it's becos i reckon i will be happier wif u ard. but like wad choice do i have now? it takes two hands to clap. it's a two way thing. and i've come to realise it's been a one way thing since MONTHS ago. i will forget bout it. i'm tired ald, really. gimme a break. i will see wat happens.
report book? haha.
eng 57 c5
higher chinese 62 b4
amaths 52 c6
emaths 44 e8
chemistry:) 57 c5
physics 59 c5
combined humanities 50 c6
pure geography 51 c6
class position 19/41
L1R4 25
L1R5 31
comments: Junhui has a pleasant disposition. she is an independent learner who sets her priorities right and works hard towards achieving her goals. she shows determination and perseverance in whatever she undertakes. to her friends, she is a motivator who constantly encourages them to focus on their studies. she is a good listener and offers good advice when confided in.
my expression was like :0 all the while when reading the comments. haha. "independent learner who sets her priorities right and works hard towards achieving her goals." i agree i'm more of a independent learner. but set my priorities right and work hard towards achieving my goals? i should question myself wad the shit was i doing the night before chem exam. becos of some argh matter i wasted hours rotting. two weeks b4 exams i rot the whole week thinking it's ok. i dunno whr did my brain go, seriously. sigh. haha, i love "determination and perseverance" but believe me, mine dissolved years ago. still cant find. becos i'm tired, haha. "motivator who constantly encourages them to focus on their studies". oh well, like my motivation is of any shit use. i gave all the encouragement i could give and it's rather... really rather useless.oh wadever, dun complain:) "good listener and offers good advice when confided in" like excuse me, as if who ever ever confide in me? can laugh till my head drop man. confide in me... undeniable, i like it when ppl confide in me. but the thing now is NOBODY CONFIDES IN ME LA. ok sorry :) haha.
i was like half dead and half really wanting to die ald by 1pm. but i still dragged myself to bugis. buy candies? haha. some task so i can forget bout that wadever-horrible feeling. the fructose factory:) i went straight took the " i love you" rock and wanted to pay. den stopped. eh? "i love u" rock. SO WRONG. haha. i'm not buying for my boyfriend can, for goodness sake. boyfriend next time la:) haha. den i decided to buy heart rocks instead. as in, heart shape. ya,lol. ok seems wrong oso. but AIYA WADEVER LA. haha, so i bought it. so much for buying u candies. den miscommunication occur. sucky man. FINE LOR. i'm not sad anymore. cool ? haha.
night walk is nice. but night walk in rain and lightning is ten times nicer man. haha. so cold, so alone, so dangerous. yet nice. i love the rain more than anything else:)
holiday! i wanna go out with so many ppl. haha. ya, you and you. you you you you you and you. LOL. suntanning ? woohoo !! and thank god i can finally stop seeing those sick ppl ald. for two whole months. i'm like in seventh heaven man. NO NIT TO SEE SICK PPL FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS:) haha. let this sucky-like-hell year be history man and i will welcome nect year without those horrible memories. new year, new life. let all those sick ppl sick together all they wan and they should jolly well get lost. fuckheads :)
leaving only you and me:)
the man:) i understand all that u've done. i understand wat u're doing. i noe it's tiring, i noe it's depressing, i noe it's difficult. everyone will understand one day. i can see your tears, i feel for you. i understand. i noe like me u wont give up. i respect u and i really really love you.
i'm gonna do it. i admit now i have to do it. i cant hold on liddat for long. i mus really do otherwise. it's for everyone's good. for your good, my good, his good, her good, their good, our good. everybody's good. i noe all of you are waiting for me to do this. ok, i will do it. i will. cos there's really no other choice. 21, i promise. i really promise. and i will write the next diary entry that day. i dun want to read my diary at all. it's full of sadness i can cry if i read jus one page of it. i'm like afraid of my diary. LOL. for the time being, let's pretend i dun have det at all. haha. ahhhhhhhhhh i dun want to watch mtv and cry again. damn retarded sia.
gosh. thank god i'm away from u for remedial lessons. i'm saved from much disgust:) thank you. and i got 15 mosquito bites, 4 on one knee alone. that's super funny man. haha. and i promise i will eat more. bones are scaring me. it's getting really scary. hahaaa, all so random.
i'm so damn proud of end second. errr? haha.
i'm in love with you already. how ?
simplyjun. totally in love with you now.
please believe me again at 2:31 PM
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