Jun.

shit. the world is a mess. wat to do ? nvm. i can take it :)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i wanna start scolding again. should i? argh. wad is the stupid problem with all those ppl? first, u have no brains at all. then, u think and assume u have brain. so dumb. and u go ard hurting ppl, go ard bringing pain to ppl. why dun u jus go to hell? come on, come on,hell is one artery away ROFL. and now i know.. i can actually hate ppl not because they hurt me or anything. i hate ppl when they hurt my friends. yes, those buttholes, please kindly get out of this beautiful world. the world so dun nit you and you're jus simply nothing but shit. fuckheads. argh.

sigh. i'm very very worried. and guess wat? bowling cured me. and shit! i'm so addicted to bowling ald now. ahhhhhhhhh, this is bad. bad for my pocket. haha. but nvm, i dun wanna give a monkey man. bowling ball hitting the pins sound. heehee :) SUPER NICE. but i'm still worrying and probably will continue worrying. hell.

and argh. i'm also worried bout sam. this is freaking irritating man. i hate to worry and worry bout ppl. but the thing is i jus cant stop worrying. so stupid. sigh. sam, pls take care and if there's anything, JUS TELL ME. i can take everything, really. dun make me worry bout u man, tell me if there's any problem. i will help if i can. even if it means putting myself into trouble or anything. get it? cya, gal. smile please (:

it's nice to know that i'm awake ald. i dunno wat exactly slapped me awake, but watever la, i'm awake now. mayb it's too late ald? but nvm. at least... i woke up. i will never forget that day on bus12 alone. i was totally alone and happy at first. and when i'm alone i start to think. and when i start to think, i really think. and i guess, that is when i really wake up. wake up from that stupid slp. it's all my fault. tears jus flow and never stop. how stupid can i get? i questioned myself and ya. i couldn't answer. i feel super guilty and i guess i will feel guilty forever. i'm so sorry but i guess, no matter how many times i say sorry, it's not gonna help. wat's the shit use of saying i'm sorry? yes. all is too late ald. and NOW den i realise. NOW den i wake up. it's jus so sad.. wad was i doing ? i dun even rmb that as me. so was that me? i was so unconscious. i so dun wanna rmb what i did, what i said, and of cos.. that fucking attitude of mine. i wanna throw it all away. i dun even wanna rmb that.... it was actually me. i cant believe how stupid i was, cant believe how idiotic i was, cant believe how irritating i was, cant believe how bitchy i was. but... that's me. and i will never ever ever ever do it again. that is not the real me. i'm the real me now. i got lost for so many many months. i dunno wat happened to me. my attitude was jus super shitty. and i hate that me. damn idiotic like nobody's business and i wish i can kill myself. but i guess it's all fated. i dun regret going through all those shit and finally realising i'm the one who is wrong and den feeling guilty now. i dun regret. because if i din went through all that, i probably wont wake up. i will probably continue doing shits. and continue bringing ppl pain. now, i feel guilty. and there's practically nth i can do. slap me all u want, i will stand and let u slap. well... i deserve it :)

i mean it. come hell or high water, i can take it. i wanna be strong and i believe i'm strong now. i wont ever ever let myself be like that time anymore. not that idiotic-wads-her-problem-dunno-how-to-think gal. no more, no way. NEVER. tell me everything. and i will do anything for you. i owe u alot. really alot. wad's more? i love u alot:) i value u alot. u're important to me, and i wont let you fall like before again. i wont. i will break your fall. if it means taking my life, well, take it. i'm willing to do so and... i can take all shits now (:

i can.
Jun_


i'm here if u nit anybody. it's all up to you. jus dun make me worry anymore. PLEASE take care :(