Y
24 February 2006
24 February 2006
aft the struggle last nite, i'm at least emotionally more stable now. i think.
very first thing in the morning, left my bloody phone at home. that irritated me for awhile. yah, so i lived without my bloody phone today. sorry cadence, for not being there for u when u were extremely bored and frightened by the praying mantis teacher HAHA. i din bring my phone lah:(
practice dragggggggged. i felt totally drained out. first, that junior of mine gave this i-feel-so-sad look all the way cos she wants to transfer to pipa. oh man, pls. cant she at least say " i prefer pipa. " rather than " i dun like. [cello] " hell. cello is such a lovely instrument, why cant she appreciate. i'm so gonna cry and miss playing aft we step down and somebody's actually telling me " i dun like. " and she cried or smth. huiping told me. den went off to some i-cant-find toilet. yes, i went to look for her. leave her out there to die? since we dunno whr did she go and is she alright. and bloody hell, couldn't find her. went to that toilet jus behind art room, 03-01 that toilet, 02-09 that toilet, even 01-01 that toilet. jus no sight of her. i dunno whr did she go, but saw her walking back to the classroom aft searching and searching -.- then had to coach her aft that. she looked uninterested okay. i din lose my temper. it's the last thing i wanna do. and this whole thing plus her uninterested-and-i'm-depressed-cos-i-dun-like-cello face totally. did make me feel helpless and upset. or rather, speechless and silently frustrated. the other three juniors were okay, they do talk(:
combine practice was bit sleepy for me. i was bored and sleepy. not much of our part, u see. so we jus sorta sat through. and i so look forward to that nine pages piece. nine pages okay. twelve pages for bass. like whoa. mus be fun, haha. and lynette misheard. she thot i said nine majors. wad the hell? i'd commit suicide if we have to play any song with nine majors. who will ever wanna attempt smth liddat man. might jus simply die in the process of playing. lmao. and that swiss cottage exchange thingy is cancelled:((( and i feel like going to that wadever-it-is concert.
they playing dance of the yao tribe can. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! <333
i thot of alot of things today. firstly, i do things for a reason. i'm human too. i have feelings too. i do get irritated and angry. i do get stressed up and pissed off at times. its jus a matter of whether i show it or not. its jus a matter of whether i can control it or not. and i figured, the main thing is, i din say no. i din heck care. if i really dun give a damn, i'd jus say no, and ask u to forget bout it. the thing is i din. i din. i asked for an alternative, i did. u were the one who couldn't make it. so it ended up liddat? i'm tired ald. i dunno how to handle, so i'd jus leave it. but still, thanks and i'm here.
last night, i got bit upset, abit angry. this is the stupid first time in short history. cos i sorta figured out smth, and i wanted to tell somebody. den i found out the whole entire world is probably aslp. and yah, so i din had a chance to tell anybody. and come to think of it, mayb i shouldn't(: it sounds bit stupid. ohhh, haha. wadever.
mayb, its jus me that i'm now. cos i lost myself for such a long period of time.
i sorta screamed when i enter the kitchen after i reached home. corns(:
and u know, i do feel tired, persisting and taking the initiative to ask, time and again. i do feel tired. its exhasuting and totally wearing me out. mayb i jus dun show it. but still, i persist.
btw, there's this feeling of insecurity, i dunno why this feeling creeped into me, but it jus did. i feel totally insecure bout u.
i'm coughing and coughing. yet, still wanna eat chocolate. i swear i'll get mars bar for myself tmr <333
tmr's gonna be eventful man. i wan nice dinner, i dun care.
i wanna roam, talk, cry.
love,
jun.
i feel like i haven talk to u for such a long time. a distance that is.
very first thing in the morning, left my bloody phone at home. that irritated me for awhile. yah, so i lived without my bloody phone today. sorry cadence, for not being there for u when u were extremely bored and frightened by the praying mantis teacher HAHA. i din bring my phone lah:(
practice dragggggggged. i felt totally drained out. first, that junior of mine gave this i-feel-so-sad look all the way cos she wants to transfer to pipa. oh man, pls. cant she at least say " i prefer pipa. " rather than " i dun like. [cello] " hell. cello is such a lovely instrument, why cant she appreciate. i'm so gonna cry and miss playing aft we step down and somebody's actually telling me " i dun like. " and she cried or smth. huiping told me. den went off to some i-cant-find toilet. yes, i went to look for her. leave her out there to die? since we dunno whr did she go and is she alright. and bloody hell, couldn't find her. went to that toilet jus behind art room, 03-01 that toilet, 02-09 that toilet, even 01-01 that toilet. jus no sight of her. i dunno whr did she go, but saw her walking back to the classroom aft searching and searching -.- then had to coach her aft that. she looked uninterested okay. i din lose my temper. it's the last thing i wanna do. and this whole thing plus her uninterested-and-i'm-depressed-cos-i-dun-like-cello face totally. did make me feel helpless and upset. or rather, speechless and silently frustrated. the other three juniors were okay, they do talk(:
combine practice was bit sleepy for me. i was bored and sleepy. not much of our part, u see. so we jus sorta sat through. and i so look forward to that nine pages piece. nine pages okay. twelve pages for bass. like whoa. mus be fun, haha. and lynette misheard. she thot i said nine majors. wad the hell? i'd commit suicide if we have to play any song with nine majors. who will ever wanna attempt smth liddat man. might jus simply die in the process of playing. lmao. and that swiss cottage exchange thingy is cancelled:((( and i feel like going to that wadever-it-is concert.
they playing dance of the yao tribe can. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! <333
i thot of alot of things today. firstly, i do things for a reason. i'm human too. i have feelings too. i do get irritated and angry. i do get stressed up and pissed off at times. its jus a matter of whether i show it or not. its jus a matter of whether i can control it or not. and i figured, the main thing is, i din say no. i din heck care. if i really dun give a damn, i'd jus say no, and ask u to forget bout it. the thing is i din. i din. i asked for an alternative, i did. u were the one who couldn't make it. so it ended up liddat? i'm tired ald. i dunno how to handle, so i'd jus leave it. but still, thanks and i'm here.
last night, i got bit upset, abit angry. this is the stupid first time in short history. cos i sorta figured out smth, and i wanted to tell somebody. den i found out the whole entire world is probably aslp. and yah, so i din had a chance to tell anybody. and come to think of it, mayb i shouldn't(: it sounds bit stupid. ohhh, haha. wadever.
i sorta screamed when i enter the kitchen after i reached home. corns(:
and u know, i do feel tired, persisting and taking the initiative to ask, time and again. i do feel tired. its exhasuting and totally wearing me out. mayb i jus dun show it. but still, i persist.
btw, there's this feeling of insecurity, i dunno why this feeling creeped into me, but it jus did. i feel totally insecure bout u.
i'm coughing and coughing. yet, still wanna eat chocolate. i swear i'll get mars bar for myself tmr <333
tmr's gonna be eventful man. i wan nice dinner, i dun care.
i wanna roam, talk, cry.
love,
jun.
i feel like i haven talk to u for such a long time. a distance that is.
please believe me again at 10:16 PM
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