Y
23 February 2006
23 February 2006
i dun give attitude for no reason. i think.
got back three tests today. chemistry was shitty. expected. 12/30 for sections B and C. wadever, i knew it's gonna be liddat. thanks louis for smsing me, tho u were wrong. haha, i was unaffected by that idiotic result. i was jus tired and falling aslp :D physics was okay, at least. 35/50. i do have some confidence in physics after all. i think. chinese was mad. so miraculous. first section, one mark. zao ju totally zero. yeah, but i passed. 51. that's totally like a mircacle. and that test was my worse ever chinese test actually. i was like aslp while doing it. din even complete the whole test. okay, wadever.
chem practical was okay lah. yellow ppt is so beautiful(: and the glittering thingy looked so glam lor.
oh man. attitude. again. i'm sick of it. now, i'm like angry with myself for giving innocent ppl attitudes. innocent, i think. so its rather contradicting, i'm the one giving attitude, but at the same time, i dun like it, and i'm angry with myself for it. and i'm trying to control it. if i appear to be okay, it means i succeed. i'm little superhero girl. i know not everybody is strong. i know nobody is totally strong. i know. but the thing is, somehow, i jus feel that i have to be strong. i dun wan to see me being weak, and others, weak too. and wat? we jus be weak altogether? i think it makes no sense liddat. i feel the nit to be strong, even if i'm not, at that moment. and i realised, its forever. i feel that i have to be strong and okay, forever. i jus act strong. okay wait. i AM strong. but at times when i get frustrated, i jus try to act okay. i dun wanna affect anybody. nobody is to be affected by me. i jus wan it liddat.
wad's the point of trying to tell ppl when i dun even really know wat the shit is happening to me? i'm still trying to figure out. its frustrating, trying to figure out wat's troubling you yourself. feels damn dumb. i know it started during geog lessons. i know. but i dunno why. i cant explain it myself. this is very retarded okay. why cant i explain my own feelings. i think this is the first time i cant figure things out, and thus, i feel totally stupid and silently frustrated. i jus dun wan ppl to worry bout me. i dunno why i jus have to think liddat. i wan u to think liddat okay. i'm strong, i'm always okay, i'm always happy. thats all u nit to know. unless i go to u, that is. i do go to ppl u know, jus some ppl only.
i hope this shit has nothing to do with u, that is. i dunno wat i wan bout u. mayb after all, i dun wan anything at all.
mayb i should jus. yah, find things to occupy myself. and dun go ard trying to figure out wat's troubling me, since i so dunno. sounds like good. yah.
i should jus go ard finding out wat's troubling ppl.
i wanna do so many things u know. i wanna eat nice dinner on sat. i wanna cry out badly. i wanna stop giving attitudes. i wanna buy many many chocolates and flowers for myself. i wanna go to the beach and feel the wind. and right now, i wanna eat chocolates.
this weekend is so gonna be stressed up and packed. if sat is not perfect, i'll kill myself.
love,
jun.
something is jus wrong. something between u and me, that is. u're being so i-dunno-how-to-react-to-you. i'm jus feeling bad lah, okay :(
got back three tests today. chemistry was shitty. expected. 12/30 for sections B and C. wadever, i knew it's gonna be liddat. thanks louis for smsing me, tho u were wrong. haha, i was unaffected by that idiotic result. i was jus tired and falling aslp :D physics was okay, at least. 35/50. i do have some confidence in physics after all. i think. chinese was mad. so miraculous. first section, one mark. zao ju totally zero. yeah, but i passed. 51. that's totally like a mircacle. and that test was my worse ever chinese test actually. i was like aslp while doing it. din even complete the whole test. okay, wadever.
chem practical was okay lah. yellow ppt is so beautiful(: and the glittering thingy looked so glam lor.
oh man. attitude. again. i'm sick of it. now, i'm like angry with myself for giving innocent ppl attitudes. innocent, i think. so its rather contradicting, i'm the one giving attitude, but at the same time, i dun like it, and i'm angry with myself for it. and i'm trying to control it. if i appear to be okay, it means i succeed.
wad's the point of trying to tell ppl when i dun even really know wat the shit is happening to me? i'm still trying to figure out. its frustrating, trying to figure out wat's troubling you yourself. feels damn dumb. i know it started during geog lessons. i know. but i dunno why. i cant explain it myself. this is very retarded okay. why cant i explain my own feelings. i think this is the first time i cant figure things out, and thus, i feel totally stupid and silently frustrated. i jus dun wan ppl to worry bout me. i dunno why i jus have to think liddat. i wan u to think liddat okay. i'm strong, i'm always okay, i'm always happy. thats all u nit to know. unless i go to u, that is. i do go to ppl u know, jus some ppl only.
i hope this shit has nothing to do with u, that is. i dunno wat i wan bout u. mayb after all, i dun wan anything at all.
mayb i should jus. yah, find things to occupy myself. and dun go ard trying to figure out wat's troubling me, since i so dunno. sounds like good. yah.
i should jus go ard finding out wat's troubling ppl.
i wanna do so many things u know. i wanna eat nice dinner on sat. i wanna cry out badly. i wanna stop giving attitudes. i wanna buy many many chocolates and flowers for myself. i wanna go to the beach and feel the wind. and right now, i wanna eat chocolates.
this weekend is so gonna be stressed up and packed. if sat is not perfect, i'll kill myself.
love,
jun.
something is jus wrong. something between u and me, that is. u're being so i-dunno-how-to-react-to-you. i'm jus feeling bad lah, okay :(
please believe me again at 6:18 PM
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