Love, Hate, which to choose?

Y
10 February 2006

this is so mad.

okay, so i finally drifted off to slp last nite after wondering for some time, whether somebody is aslp. left house this morning at 530am or so. went to tampines interchange to meet ther and yi. so i was like quite dead at that time, was really moodless and sorta sleepy. then took bus31, long journey man. i slept, woke up, slept again and woke up again. again and again, but we're like forever still on the way. so like, finally we reached the damn place. and after that, it's all bout waiting. waiting and still waiting. for our turn to run.

and so we ran. i lost yi and ther after awhile. so i was running alone for some time. but ended up, i ran with adeline towards the finishing point. so bloody tiring man. reaching the finishing point felt like the best thing that ever happened to me, hahaha, so exaggerating. like, the end of hell from running and running, lol. and den my face felt so hot after that, as if its on fire or smth. and the heat was untolerable man, i was melting under the sun. perspiring like mad. yeah, den we indulged in screaming and cheering after that, during the prize presentation. at times, i really love to scream.

so after the whole thing, we set off for home. okay, actually we were supposed to go to tampines with yi to buy stuffs for her dancework shit. so we were heading towards tampines. den when we were like reaching the bus stop, it began to pour. oh my gosh, i was like so excited bout the never-ending rain. and so, we were soaked. hair looking like shit, so ugly and unglam, totally. den we took i-forgot-wat-bus. can u believe it, i forgot wat bus did we take, haha. i think it's bus48. yeah, so went to school, used the toilet. dilly-dally like for dunno how loooooong. and took ten to tampines. so on ten, i fell aslp. again -.- i dunno why, actually, i dun even feel tired or anything, actually. jus that my legs were aching like hell and i felt so cold. den in the end, yi decided to go home first. so i came home. was waiting for bus39 at that bus stop, it was like really pouring, literally. onblowing wind and all, i dun see the purpose of standing in the bus stop. the rain was like coming in, the wind was like blowing so strongly. so freaking cold, i felt. den took bus39, shivered all the way den had to walk in the rain like again, add to the coldness. yeah, so i was like really really cold. missed my sweater man.

ther and yi gonna come later. but i seriously dunno whr are they now. feels uncontactable, lol. so, im here right now, feeling totally okay and calm. genuine calmness and okayness, that is. so u guys dun have to worry anymore. i know my post last night sounds like as if i'm totally dying due to depression and stress. i'm okay. its not depression or anything, its all bout frustration in my totally messed up life. and stress from the never-ending flow of tests and homeworks. so people out there reading all of my craps. dun worry bout me cos i'm okay, jus take it as i'm bloody complaining. hahahaha. and thanks! to those who really care(:

my gosh. i'm currently thinking bout valentine's day. a question was asked, i dun have any idea how to ans. "wad are u doing next tues?" den i was... speechless. wad a good question, indeed. so wat am i doing next tues? so crazily, there's no practice next tues and they said it's bcos it's valentine's day. like whoa? so wad am i gonna do? i will be busy distributing stuffs to ppl, that is for sure. but i dunno bout the rest of the time. haha, oh well, it's valentine's day. sounds like romantic. ~~hahaha, wadever.~~

and after thinking bout valentine's day, i'm thinking bout TMR. i'm so excited i'm like exploding. haha, exaggerating eh. thrilled to bits. but sadly, louis cant go tmr. so disappointing:( better make it next time okay, louis. once again, my weekend is like full. there's practice tmr morning, den will be going home aft that. ~~actually, i feel like going bugis aft pract to buy smth.~~ and it will be dinner with happy ppl. i wanna go walk walk walk walk walk. roam roam roam roam roam tmr night. haha, best night ever. -sat night-

yeah, den sunday will be the performance. another experience. warning here, i predict i'll get real frustrated on sunday cos there's sch the next day and most probably, i'd be like... work all undone. argh:(

ohhh, i read so much. i feel weird suddenly. i dunno why. mayb, mayb, after all, it's jus really not meant to be. and how interesting. reading bout somebody, u can feel insecure bout that person. okay, this sounds retarded. and the bad thing is, after reading, i feel depressed. like really depressd. really really really depressed. so i'm like in depression now aft reading. i'll never read again in my life, i guess -.- this is so horrifying. i'm depressed aft reading those. arggghhh. i'm depresssssed :'(

i'm being stupidly paranoid again. those fears jus simply dun go away. sighs. i'm really scared. i wish this will stop. but like, how to stop? :(

pls jus let me be happy today, tmr and sunday. at least.

_Jun.

i've had enough of hell. i mutter, i wan sunflowers.

please believe me again at 8:27 PM