Y
26 March 2006
26 March 2006
again.
i dun get why do i try to help ppl. those ppl who really appear to be so bloody hopeless. i really dun get why i insist on helping sometimes, wat's the use of wanting to help and these ppl REJECT ur stupid help.
i'm depressed(:
supposed to wake at 8am today. but in the end woke at 10am plus. was slightly irritated but went on to do those things on my list. so typed the document, even highlight and stuffs. looked at the thing, was like overwhelmed with satisfaction. then sent the document and went to eat lunch.
after lunch, started geog revision(:
today, couldn't really focus. moments of blanks and difficulty recalling. well, actually i think i couldn't concentrate because i was concentrating too much, rofl. how contradicting. my mind was totally totally filled with terms like "low birth rate. high birth rate. infant mortality rate." then when i try to recall points of a certain part, i will be recalling but my mind goes blank. so i'll be recalling but dunno wat im trying to recall. ahaha, funny and stupid it is. how to recall when u dunno wat u're supposed to recall?
then i felt tired so i went to sleep for wat supposedly to be 30mins but it ended up to be TWO HOURS.
i calmed myself down and continued geog after that unintended excessive sleeping, rofl.
oh well, i think im bit too serious, compared to ppl ard me. i sense the urgency of things. i do. and so u see me rushing, and ppl saying im bit too crazy(:
anyway yesterday, in the morning, went for maths remedial in sch. mrs lim is so nice man. i love teachers like her. i guess i will benefit greatly from the remedials on saturdays. my impression of mrs lim, is that she's one confident and tolerant woman. and she's probably one who knows ppl well.
mayb because too many things are happening right now so i reach this point of speechlessness. i hate it when i cant focus. it doesnt feel like me at all. im not one who loses concentration and let my mind drift off to nothingness. that's not me.
and if things really dun go well, that will be the second time i fall. hard and die. but whether things go well or not, it's up to u. it's up to me. when u underestimate stuffs, i have to tell u the reality of ur supposedly stressed up life. when u still go slow, i have to pour u the scoldings and naggings to force u to make that reluctant start of the race. when u dunno time's running up, i have to time and again check the clock and calculate the loss of time. mayb im caring too much and becoming over-serious. i dunno?
thanks for letting me know that im important. and thanks for the respect u give, always. but the thing is i've never ever thot of giving it up jus becos of all the stress and unsmooth trips we have had. i've never thot of it before. u noticed i looked quite shocked when u asked bout wat i want? i thot its clear that im never gonna give up liddat? (: i know things will get affected. i feel it's affected ald, by now. but wat's the choice? u chose it, and so did i! i believe no ppl will choose that one only option that will make them happy, and then throw it away after choosing. it's call giving up ur love. do i look like i'm one who will do such a thing? i commit myself in this tiring thing, and im prepared for it. all the setbacks and obstacles that will come attacking. i'm definitely not one who will take up a challenge that i think i cant win. mayb im not strong enough to handle these difficulties, but i know i have u with me(: thus, i'll put my heart, life and soul into it. you!
ur silence is even more more scary:(
week two starting tomorrow. i kept thinking its week three. im going bonkers soon(:
btw, this is outdated but. ther's birthday cake!
and i think i was too harsh. i dunno? shall go cry now.
bout being harsh and too bloody naive. and stupidly selfish.
and here i go, weeping, bitter tears.
lotsa love:(
confused,
jun.
im affected and so are you. becos of us.
i dun get why do i try to help ppl. those ppl who really appear to be so bloody hopeless. i really dun get why i insist on helping sometimes, wat's the use of wanting to help and these ppl REJECT ur stupid help.
supposed to wake at 8am today. but in the end woke at 10am plus. was slightly irritated but went on to do those things on my list. so typed the document, even highlight and stuffs. looked at the thing, was like overwhelmed with satisfaction. then sent the document and went to eat lunch.
after lunch, started geog revision(:
today, couldn't really focus. moments of blanks and difficulty recalling. well, actually i think i couldn't concentrate because i was concentrating too much, rofl. how contradicting. my mind was totally totally filled with terms like "low birth rate. high birth rate. infant mortality rate." then when i try to recall points of a certain part, i will be recalling but my mind goes blank. so i'll be recalling but dunno wat im trying to recall. ahaha, funny and stupid it is. how to recall when u dunno wat u're supposed to recall?
then i felt tired so i went to sleep for wat supposedly to be 30mins but it ended up to be TWO HOURS.
i calmed myself down and continued geog after that unintended excessive sleeping, rofl.
oh well, i think im bit too serious, compared to ppl ard me. i sense the urgency of things. i do. and so u see me rushing, and ppl saying im bit too crazy(:
anyway yesterday, in the morning, went for maths remedial in sch. mrs lim is so nice man. i love teachers like her. i guess i will benefit greatly from the remedials on saturdays. my impression of mrs lim, is that she's one confident and tolerant woman. and she's probably one who knows ppl well.
mayb because too many things are happening right now so i reach this point of speechlessness. i hate it when i cant focus. it doesnt feel like me at all. im not one who loses concentration and let my mind drift off to nothingness. that's not me.
and if things really dun go well, that will be the second time i fall. hard and die. but whether things go well or not, it's up to u. it's up to me. when u underestimate stuffs, i have to tell u the reality of ur supposedly stressed up life. when u still go slow, i have to pour u the scoldings and naggings to force u to make that reluctant start of the race. when u dunno time's running up, i have to time and again check the clock and calculate the loss of time. mayb im caring too much and becoming over-serious. i dunno?
thanks for letting me know that im important. and thanks for the respect u give, always. but the thing is i've never ever thot of giving it up jus becos of all the stress and unsmooth trips we have had. i've never thot of it before. u noticed i looked quite shocked when u asked bout wat i want? i thot its clear that im never gonna give up liddat? (: i know things will get affected. i feel it's affected ald, by now. but wat's the choice? u chose it, and so did i! i believe no ppl will choose that one only option that will make them happy, and then throw it away after choosing. it's call giving up ur love. do i look like i'm one who will do such a thing? i commit myself in this tiring thing, and im prepared for it. all the setbacks and obstacles that will come attacking. i'm definitely not one who will take up a challenge that i think i cant win. mayb im not strong enough to handle these difficulties, but i know i have u with me(: thus, i'll put my heart, life and soul into it. you!
ur silence is even more more scary:(
week two starting tomorrow. i kept thinking its week three. im going bonkers soon(:
btw, this is outdated but. ther's birthday cake!
and i think i was too harsh. i dunno? shall go cry now.
bout being harsh and too bloody naive. and stupidly selfish.
and here i go, weeping, bitter tears.
lotsa love:(
confused,
im affected and so are you. becos of us.
please believe me again at 11:33 PM
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