Y
14 March 2006
14 March 2006
okay. i know i'm supposed to be sleeping, but...
too many things within.
i'm sleeping at 11:30pm tonight anyway :D
motivational camp.
it was great(: now, i have the drive to do things, i wan to do things, i wan to work hard. i wan to carry on with life. even if life sucks. it's my life, and i wanna live it(:
ramesh and stuart are two great people man. they've taught us alot. really alot. i'm sure many from 4 U N I benefited from this camp.
past not equals to future
participate a 100%
i will go on(:
yay, i let it all out(: we all cried. i think i sorta let that lousy feeling in me dissolved into those tears. and they jus rushed out when ramesh shouted at us. but it's real good(: for such a long time, all i needed was for somebody to shout at me. scold me, scream at me. tell me exactly wat i'm doing wrong, tell me how much i've been rotting and how many ppl i'm letting down in the process. it's wat i needed for such a long time. and that was wat exactly ramesh did. and so, i know i cant rot on. i know i have to work hard now. i know i cant let people down again. including myself. and so. time to wake up, everybody! let's work hard altogether(:
striving on(:
woke at 7am today -.- when lesson starts at 7:30am. reached like damn late. felt so un-me. it's not me to be late like that. well, was too tired lah. slept at like 1am or so last night. cos went to support adriano(: geog lessons was i-dunno-wat-the-heck-is-happening kinda thing. then chem practical was fun. i love hiangling, pamela and jovi(: they are nice benchmates, haha. yellow ppt is nice okay, so lovely kinda thing, lol.
suddenly, i dunno wat's happening to everybody. i feel rather helpless. mayb sometimes, it's all because i'm caring too much. then again, i dun think so. those are ppl who are close to me. ppl who matters to me. it's jus right for me to care and probe. i dun get it why ppl have to treat me in the way i never ever treat them in before. u ask, i answer. i be honest and give u my answer. but when it comes to the time when i ask you, u shut up. u shut up and say not a word. i dun get why this is the type of treatment i get in return. i'm not saying i tell u things so that u'll tell me things. this is not some kinda secret-exchange programme. but the fact that i tell u things simply implies that i'm willing to and taking the initiative to maintain the bond between us. i'm not afraid u'd tell other ppl my stuffs, i trust you, i share. wat about u? u jus say nothing. so now wat? to hell with the closeness between us? it means nothing to u? u think it's fun? having to worry bout u, think for u, guess wat's on ur mind, guess wat the hell is happening. it's not like i have nothing better to do, wanna spend time thinking bout all these when it's simply none of my business. it's all solely because u matter to me and i care for u, or i will not even bother to try opening u up. mutiple times i have other things to do, but i still stay so as to make u say. but no matter wat u jus wont speak. so at the end of the day, when i feel frustrated and upset that u jus shut urself away from me, rejecting my initiative to build that bridge between u and me...
it's my fault that i care too much?
stupid of me to even care?
and you know. answers like "nothing lah." "i dunno how to say." are making me more speechless. so again, too stupid of me to care? trying to probe when u have no intention of telling me a shit.
so much for caring, indeed. i've enough.
and it's so amusing. more than two ppl are doing this to me.
i think i nit therapy. i'm too serious.
mission possible(: starting from tmr onwards, the whole of the following month will be of intensive work and revision.
-stress and worries-
but still, i will fight all the way(:
i can fight all this alone u know. and i wont die.
i think i should forget bout watching wolf creek and fd3. byebye.
i feel strong. despite the fact that the world seems to be crashing down on me. i'm not tired.
staying strong,
jun.
pls jus let me feel secure bout this whole thing that i used to hesitate when giving an answer.
too many things within.
i'm sleeping at 11:30pm tonight anyway :D
motivational camp.
it was great(: now, i have the drive to do things, i wan to do things, i wan to work hard. i wan to carry on with life. even if life sucks. it's my life, and i wanna live it(:
ramesh and stuart are two great people man. they've taught us alot. really alot. i'm sure many from 4 U N I benefited from this camp.
past not equals to future
participate a 100%
i will go on(:
yay, i let it all out(: we all cried. i think i sorta let that lousy feeling in me dissolved into those tears. and they jus rushed out when ramesh shouted at us. but it's real good(: for such a long time, all i needed was for somebody to shout at me. scold me, scream at me. tell me exactly wat i'm doing wrong, tell me how much i've been rotting and how many ppl i'm letting down in the process. it's wat i needed for such a long time. and that was wat exactly ramesh did. and so, i know i cant rot on. i know i have to work hard now. i know i cant let people down again. including myself. and so. time to wake up, everybody! let's work hard altogether(:
striving on(:
woke at 7am today -.- when lesson starts at 7:30am. reached like damn late. felt so un-me. it's not me to be late like that. well, was too tired lah. slept at like 1am or so last night. cos went to support adriano(: geog lessons was i-dunno-wat-the-heck-is-happening kinda thing. then chem practical was fun. i love hiangling, pamela and jovi(: they are nice benchmates, haha. yellow ppt is nice okay, so lovely kinda thing, lol.
suddenly, i dunno wat's happening to everybody. i feel rather helpless. mayb sometimes, it's all because i'm caring too much. then again, i dun think so. those are ppl who are close to me. ppl who matters to me. it's jus right for me to care and probe. i dun get it why ppl have to treat me in the way i never ever treat them in before. u ask, i answer. i be honest and give u my answer. but when it comes to the time when i ask you, u shut up. u shut up and say not a word. i dun get why this is the type of treatment i get in return. i'm not saying i tell u things so that u'll tell me things. this is not some kinda secret-exchange programme. but the fact that i tell u things simply implies that i'm willing to and taking the initiative to maintain the bond between us. i'm not afraid u'd tell other ppl my stuffs, i trust you, i share. wat about u? u jus say nothing. so now wat? to hell with the closeness between us? it means nothing to u? u think it's fun? having to worry bout u, think for u, guess wat's on ur mind, guess wat the hell is happening. it's not like i have nothing better to do, wanna spend time thinking bout all these when it's simply none of my business. it's all solely because u matter to me and i care for u, or i will not even bother to try opening u up. mutiple times i have other things to do, but i still stay so as to make u say. but no matter wat u jus wont speak. so at the end of the day, when i feel frustrated and upset that u jus shut urself away from me, rejecting my initiative to build that bridge between u and me...
it's my fault that i care too much?
stupid of me to even care?
and you know. answers like "nothing lah." "i dunno how to say." are making me more speechless. so again, too stupid of me to care? trying to probe when u have no intention of telling me a shit.
so much for caring, indeed. i've enough.
and it's so amusing. more than two ppl are doing this to me.
i think i nit therapy. i'm too serious.
mission possible(: starting from tmr onwards, the whole of the following month will be of intensive work and revision.
-stress and worries-
but still, i will fight all the way(:
i can fight all this alone u know. and i wont die.
i think i should forget bout watching wolf creek and fd3. byebye.
i feel strong. despite the fact that the world seems to be crashing down on me. i'm not tired.
staying strong,
jun.
pls jus let me feel secure bout this whole thing that i used to hesitate when giving an answer.
please believe me again at 10:30 PM
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