Y
06 May 2006
06 May 2006
i cant believe i'm silently unhappy about this shit.
i'm damanding. unreasonable. selfish.
ah. flaws flaws.
imperfections.
try imagining the amt of energy and efforts i put in to hide all these disgusting sides of me. alot. cos i've too many disgusting sides u see. but again, used to it, i've always managed to surpress these idiotic behaviours of mine and hide them from people. otherwise, haha, i dunno wat will happen. or what could have happened. so many times, so many incidents, imagine if i din manage to control myself. imagine. disastrous.
i'm talking in this weird, unenthusiastic manner. wonder whether u noticed it. hmm.
geog studying is interesting eh. know wat is oil formed from? remains of dead sea animals. yucks right. oil, eeeeeeeeeeeeek.
it's interesting how i fall so deeply in love with all the subjects. chem, physics and now even puregeog. ahahaha, i dun care i fail or wat. they are my favourite subjects. okay, dun forget history. i've been interested in history since godknowswhenlowersecondarytimes. all the past of the world. all the facts and wars. always never fail to interest me. and despite all the failures i've encountered in physic and chem esp, i still love them as impt subjects.
okay. so much for relying on others and having companies. i dunno wat is this world turning into. all the talkings and conversations i have had today in any stupid forms have killed my mood and desires to blog abt happy stuffs. how to blog abt happy stuffs when nothing's happy today? i really badly nit help in any form. but i realy dunno why, its all those people whom i go to thinking i can get help from, but they just shoot me back with suprises and the "ireallycanthelpyou" attitude. i dun like to be the one telling and teaching. why cant i be the one asking and getting help for once. i'm seriously tired of doing things and doing things. why can't people do things for me for once. i'm tired. and those disappoinments and anger jus kills me. i dun nit all these at all.
yeah, mayb u will want to say, i cant rely on people all the time, i must learn to stand on my own and i cant expect people to be there for me all the time and i shouldn't have high expectations of people as if they are god and they know everything. but the thing is, i really dun know why, but each time i really really nit answers, nobody can answer me. each time i really really nit somebody to listen to my troubles, but nobody is there to hear me. each time i breakdown and cry, nobody is really there to wipe away my tears. each and every time. i know its "each and every time" becos it has been each and every time such that over a period of time (by now) i've realised it. it's happening to me. i think i'm standing on my own too much and being so independent in some areas till the extent that i'm getting tired. sometimes, all i nit is somebody whom i can lean on. and this somebody has to be somebody whom i see the reasons why i can lean on him/her of cos. if u're some dependent and incapable freak, u expect me to lean on you and put all the load on you? okay, dream of that.
i'm talking too much sad stuffs in life.
louis, if u think i'm so talking bout u only. no. please be smart as u are, to identify those parts meant for you. however, i've this strong feeling u are looking at the wrong part. watever okay. watever. i'm lazy to explain. lazy. however, i do recognise ur efforts and stuffs, tho sometimes u do make things way too demoralising for me. yeah, u do care la, i jus cant ways to appreciate ur way of caring. sometimes that is. sometimes.
i dunno. i'm just unhappy. i'm not as understanding as i seem to be. i dun say anything but that doesnt mean i'm okay with everything u say and do. it's just that i never bring up my unhappiness as a topic. dun wan to. but i've this feeling i can no longer contain it. soon. jus soon. explosion will take place.
i dun want to think bout all these anymore. kill my mood and demoralise me. so much for asking questions and having companies. wat companies. wat answers. i dun seem to get any. shall go drown myself in the sea of geog topics. at least all the notes and books answer my questions. and they dun disappoint me at all. at all. aren't they nice(:
elections. ah. interesting.
wateverla,
jun.
u dun understand at all.
i'm damanding. unreasonable. selfish.
ah. flaws flaws.
imperfections.
try imagining the amt of energy and efforts i put in to hide all these disgusting sides of me. alot. cos i've too many disgusting sides u see. but again, used to it, i've always managed to surpress these idiotic behaviours of mine and hide them from people. otherwise, haha, i dunno wat will happen. or what could have happened. so many times, so many incidents, imagine if i din manage to control myself. imagine. disastrous.
i'm talking in this weird, unenthusiastic manner. wonder whether u noticed it. hmm.
geog studying is interesting eh. know wat is oil formed from? remains of dead sea animals. yucks right. oil, eeeeeeeeeeeeek.
it's interesting how i fall so deeply in love with all the subjects. chem, physics and now even puregeog. ahahaha, i dun care i fail or wat. they are my favourite subjects. okay, dun forget history. i've been interested in history since godknowswhenlowersecondarytimes. all the past of the world. all the facts and wars. always never fail to interest me. and despite all the failures i've encountered in physic and chem esp, i still love them as impt subjects.
okay. so much for relying on others and having companies. i dunno wat is this world turning into. all the talkings and conversations i have had today in any stupid forms have killed my mood and desires to blog abt happy stuffs. how to blog abt happy stuffs when nothing's happy today? i really badly nit help in any form. but i realy dunno why, its all those people whom i go to thinking i can get help from, but they just shoot me back with suprises and the "ireallycanthelpyou" attitude. i dun like to be the one telling and teaching. why cant i be the one asking and getting help for once. i'm seriously tired of doing things and doing things. why can't people do things for me for once. i'm tired. and those disappoinments and anger jus kills me. i dun nit all these at all.
yeah, mayb u will want to say, i cant rely on people all the time, i must learn to stand on my own and i cant expect people to be there for me all the time and i shouldn't have high expectations of people as if they are god and they know everything. but the thing is, i really dun know why, but each time i really really nit answers, nobody can answer me. each time i really really nit somebody to listen to my troubles, but nobody is there to hear me. each time i breakdown and cry, nobody is really there to wipe away my tears. each and every time. i know its "each and every time" becos it has been each and every time such that over a period of time (by now) i've realised it. it's happening to me. i think i'm standing on my own too much and being so independent in some areas till the extent that i'm getting tired. sometimes, all i nit is somebody whom i can lean on. and this somebody has to be somebody whom i see the reasons why i can lean on him/her of cos. if u're some dependent and incapable freak, u expect me to lean on you and put all the load on you? okay, dream of that.
i'm talking too much sad stuffs in life.
louis, if u think i'm so talking bout u only. no. please be smart as u are, to identify those parts meant for you. however, i've this strong feeling u are looking at the wrong part. watever okay. watever. i'm lazy to explain. lazy. however, i do recognise ur efforts and stuffs, tho sometimes u do make things way too demoralising for me. yeah, u do care la, i jus cant ways to appreciate ur way of caring. sometimes that is. sometimes.
i dunno. i'm just unhappy. i'm not as understanding as i seem to be. i dun say anything but that doesnt mean i'm okay with everything u say and do. it's just that i never bring up my unhappiness as a topic. dun wan to. but i've this feeling i can no longer contain it. soon. jus soon. explosion will take place.
i dun want to think bout all these anymore. kill my mood and demoralise me. so much for asking questions and having companies. wat companies. wat answers. i dun seem to get any. shall go drown myself in the sea of geog topics. at least all the notes and books answer my questions. and they dun disappoint me at all. at all. aren't they nice(:
elections. ah. interesting.
wateverla,
jun.
u dun understand at all.
please believe me again at 11:05 PM
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