here i am.

back from the guan mo hui. together with the co chalet on thursday, they set me thinking. hard.

it was nice, sitting there scribbling on the feedback form they issued. listening to our juniors, looking right into their eyes, giving them the assuring smile i could least provide. there was a variety of songs and music. the monotonous ones, the enthusiastic ones, the emotional/saddening ones, happy/cute ones. all and all, a variety. i loved yan en and lynette's yesterday the most though, it was nice. and, i am NOT being bias here. haha.

speaking of the chalet we had on thursday, the afternoon was completed with games like tug-of-war when the drama took place. my group was in and the moment it started we tugged with all our might and all i remember seeing was patrick falling right into the water beneath ( we were positioned along the shore. ) and my group members started to fall backwards also. no, none of the groups won. because the rope snapped. hah, what an anti-climax. and there was the water bomb game when everybody turned hyper and violent, judging by the fact that the little pail literally broke into half after awhile. and that left everybody soaked to the skin either as a result of the water bombs, or that they literally went into the sea after all the games. hah. some of us went into the swimming pool behind the chalet.

ther and me left early. that night, i opened all the little messages the juniors wrote. the first one i opened was sijia's. there's this line that she wrote that i found kinda heartwarming.

"you know what? i always recognised you as "my" senior, cos we sat together."

and you guys know what? that was how i felt towards her too. i recognised her as "my" junior probably due to the fact that we sat together like she said. sijia is the nice, sweet, helpful junior that i have. it's really easy to talk to her, the absence of awkwardness when i'm around her is the evidence. and it sure was nice sitting beside her for combined practice that year. i felt kinda touched when i read my instructor's message. it's already a pleasant surprise that there is one from him. being the lamest teacher i ever ever had, the first line he wrote was

" i chose pink to write this because i think this is your colour! LOL...."

okay, since when was pink my colour? haha. and his handwriting suddenly feels foreign to me. at that point of time, i realised that i haven't really seen him for long. oh well. and i really wonder why did he draw a treble clef on the note. if i was the one writing the note, i would have drew a bass clef though. call himself a cello&bass teacher. hah. okay sorry, i am being lame here. yan en remains oblivious that i'm already together with john. that blurhead. sighs. whereas weetong might be more resourceful, he still never fail to remind me that i am short. hoping and wishing for me that i will be fortunate enough to maybe grow a few inches more. haha. the sec ones having had less interaction with us, obviously didn't know what to write. looking at the content of their notes. but i have to admit i always get nice juniors. i think wanqi is rather cute anyway, haha.

anyway, yan en signed off with this really illegible handwriting. okay, maybe that is he's signature. HAHA. but it looks more like yan to me, rather yan en. this reminds me of the joke we had that time. i forgot who, but somebody was writing the seating arrangement on the board for our instructor to see. so we wrote our names to represent our position. then our instructor asked, who is this? yani. yeah i forgot who wrote the names, maybe it was cadence or yan en himself. haha. so for that, our instructor called him yani instead of yan en. HAHA. okay, random. haha.

those were the days.

i will never forget the times we had. over the years, the various performances we had, all the concerts we prepared for. and of course, the SYF competition we put in so much efforts for. the best years were those with the seniors around. my seniors that is. meiying, shuyu, beverly. it was never boring with them around. the days passed and they graduated. leaving cadence, huiping, theophilus and me as the seniors of the section. sijia, fronda and lynette are good juniors. they are the hardworking bunch who did practise on their own without having anybody telling them to. then came weetong and yan en. supposedly to have the basics, we thought that we don't have to worry much abt them. or so we thought. haha. but from then up till this point of time, i can be sure to say they've improved. i guess our instructor find them rather problematic though, as i remember he told us not to recruit anymore guys next year. HAHA, we laughed our heads off. for your info, he was the one who suggested/wanted guys in the section initially. haha. it's kinda sad that weetong is now playing the bass instead, since the bass section seriously is in need of new members. oh well. but from today's performance, i can see that weetong can play even better than zhirong even though he started learning later than him. haha.

those days of draggy long practices. in the hall, in the art room, in classrooms.
those times we were made to play maybe a bar or a line so many times that we felt so sick of the song after the practice.
those times when our cello goes out of tune in the middle of a song during practice.
those times the conductor crack jokes.
those times he describe the setting of the song to us.
those times he tell us abt how popular pink panther was back at his times.
those times he tune our instruments one by one.
those times he shout over the music to catch our attention.
those times he demostrate how to play those percussion instruments well and the orchestra goes whoa.
those times he make us play one by one and the orchestra keep so silent.
those rare times he gets angry and gives that fierce look which would kill anybody.
those times he puts on that oh so familiar black formal coat just minutes before he steps out to the stage to conduct for our concert.
those times we load/unload the instruments from the same old truck with that same old uncle who is oh so friendly.
those times we wait and wait backstage for our turn to perform feeling isodunnowhattofeel whether because of excitement or nervousness.
those times we hear the shouts of encore.
those times we stand and bow smiling ever so happily after the concert as the audiences applause.
those camps we have during holidays.
those little games and overnight stays.
those pep talks by miss chia/miss leong/mdm ma/the conductor.
those debriefs every tuesday/friday/saturday.
those handover ceremonies.
those guan mo huis.
those sec one orientations.
those court shoes.
those black blouses.
those rainbow coloured ties.
those tuners.
those music stand.
those scores.
those songs.
those rosins.
those cellos.
those bassist.

those cellists.

and i still remember the time i cry so hard on the bus to john and i wasn't really sure what i was crying for. that was after the last practice we had. was i crying for the fact that it's all over? was i crying cos i'd miss everything? i dunno. and till now, i still don't know. oh well. everything that i've mentioned.

has become nothing but memories. memories.

but i would like to drop by during sectionals to see the section sometime. after all, it's my section. and sometimes nowadays, i'd just sit down and recall the times we had. and how much we enjoyed ourselves. and how much i'd like to have those times again. oh well.

i am feeling all blue about the fact that school is reopening in just one day time. oh sighhh... as always. it's just the usual i-hate-the-feelings-of-going-back-to-school-after-such-a-long-break thing. as usual, but i'm just feeling down :'(

all the tiredness will be sure to come flying back. waking up at 5:15am every single day. the sleepiness during lessons to overcome. the tiring journey home. the mountains of homeworks and tests. and i was dreaming about the satisfactions i'd get from the works and studying. dreaming about it.

i was just trying to pretend for a moment that i so dun know olevels the huge monster is literally nearing as the days pass.

speaking of school reopen. i do miss ther and yi man. haha! (:

feeling all bored up and stuffed with dejection. here i am, msning my sister. who is seated just ten footsteps away from me. are we being lame or what? HAH. look.

die a little more inside. says:
AS IF U OWN A BANK
die a little more inside. says:
HAHAHAHA
ru - see the girl in me says:
sounds cool
ru - see the girl in me says:
CORRECTION DEN
ru - see the girl in me says:
IT'S BANK ACCOUNT
ru - see the girl in me says:
hey .. but who knows... one day i might own a bank
ru - see the girl in me says:
call BANK OF SINGAPORE BOS
ru - see the girl in me says:
den i'm the BOSS OF BOS
die a little more inside. says:
WHAT A RETARDED NAME. i bet nobody will go to the bank
die a little more inside. says:
judging by the ulu name of it
ru - see the girl in me says:
no lo
ru - see the girl in me says:
COOL name
ru - see the girl in me says:
see BANK OF CHINA
ru - see the girl in me says:
so we have a BANK OF SINGAPORE
ru - see the girl in me says:
make my country proud ok
die a little more inside. says:
COPYCAT . SEE BORN A COPYCAT FOREVER A COPYCAT. wonder which gene of father or mother u inherited. they weren't copycat
ru - see the girl in me says:
your ass
ru - see the girl in me says:
if i'm one
ru - see the girl in me says:
you are one too
die a little more inside. says:
hahaha
die a little more inside. says:
NO I GOT NICE GENES FROM THEM
ru - see the girl in me says:
we share the same genes
die a little more inside. says:
SO IM NOT A COPYCAT
die a little more inside. says:
HAHAHAHA

okay. this is so whatever.



yes, i'm that cellist(:

okay, this is shitty random but, having lived so long and passed 16 birthdays. i havent really gotten birthday presents that expansive. each person $20? that expansive? okay, maybe i'm being bitchy here, but this is just what i think. so what am i trying to imply? friends out there, i am not hinting to you guys anything. this is for john, i'm making it all so obvious. i am not unhappy or anything. i was just taken by surpries like whoa. i dun get it man. i just dun get it. no offence or anything.

okay, maybe because i'm poor and all. maybe $20 for a present isn't much at all. shut up, girl.

okay, i so dunno what i'm talking about.

anyway, random or what, i've put on weight:( alright, laugh all you want. haha.

john just mentioned the word dream, which reminds me about that ohsofreaky dream i had days ago. i was molested in the dream. freaky eh? and john made no comments about it whatsoever. is that dream so not worth commenting? tsk.

and oh, if this is how you want to continue starving yourself weeks after weeks, days after days. i only have this to say.

i'm gonna do the same and you can't stop me if i put my mind to it, you know that.

now, this has become the complaining part of the post unintentionally.

was browsing through cleo and i saw this: ( this is so for SAMANTHATENGJIAYIN )

Q&A LIFE

Question: Help! None of my girlfriends want to go shopping with me! Recently, they confronted me and told me that they're sick of the way i take so long to decide on my purchases and how i'm always dragging down their spirits with my constant whining about my turkey thighs when they see no reason i should be complaining. i was totally surprised and now i feel so lonesome. i miss shopping with my gal pals. what can i do?

Answer: stop being a pain! show your friends that you're really a good person to go shopping with by speeding up decisions and not putting yourself down. It sounds to me like your problem is your own self-esteem. Either that or you just moan about yourself as a way of getting attention and honey, it's not worth losing friends for the fun of being a drama queen! Your pals are really good friends who want you to be more confident. Now go out and shop!

HAHAHA ISN'T THAT LIKE SAMANTHA?!?!?! okay look, it's exactly like that. trish, faye and me see no reasons why she always complain when she's so pretty and all. WHY? and she just simply dun get it. that's the sad part.

and you guys know what? my favourite website currently is www.gv.com.sg. HAHA. yes, i am that nuts about movies. Just my luck and superman! not forgetting pirates of the carribean and click! i can't wait, i can't wait. heh.

this post is shitty long man! whooooooots.

look at the comment box(:

jun.

the night is still young i want to believe. still young.