i just misspelled the word dictionary four times.

no, that does not mean i'm frustrated, neither does it mean that my eyes are so badly tear-stained, i can't look at the keyboard properly. aiyah, my brain is just literally bursting soon lah.

chocolate day was tiring man. we went house to house like parrots repeating and repeating the same lines. it's really nice when people buy 5packets at one go, haha. after that, dragged my body home, ate dinner and bathed. wasn't really sure what to do, and in the end i went to do my maths. yes, i just finished 20 amaths questions from the TYS. YIPPPPEEEEEEEE!

and that totals up to 70 amaths questions this week. sounds insane right? nah, trust me, it's nothing actually. really. and i'm just saying this here to make myself feel better, haha. i want that kind of "there, look, you did your work and you deserve to feel satisfiedat least abit." thing. alright, watever man. btw, to make myself feel the this-is-good-but-STILL-not-enough-you-have-to-do-more feeling, i'm 20 questions behind :(

okay, really watever.

anyway, trust me, if you do 10 quadratic functions questions and then you do coordinate geometry, you're committing suicide. i did 10 quadratic functions questions and decided to do coordinate geometry and i so regret it after just three questions. wah lao, damn long-winded/naggy/tiring/exhausting/irritating/troublesome man, i was doing all the steps until i felt so frustrated then i went to do other topics. tsk. and after that i was so confused ald, i had that what-am-i-doing kinda feeling. like i was just writing and i dunno what the hell was i writing. arghhhh.

okay, i know i make it sound like my life is utter boredom. maybe it is, after all. well, but like i said, i've been behaving like the o's is just next week or what you know. and it's driving me nuts sometimes, haha. but anyway, i dunno what to talk about, so i decided maybe i should just talk about what i've done for the past hmm, 3 or 4 hours plus. (including all the bathing/eating/dilly-dallys.) nah, it wasn't boring. time flies this way man, seriously. and i thought i was bloody dead tired. tired so? it's not like i haven't slept for the past 2 or 3 days. if i want to do it, i can do it.

this way, i know i won't regret, at least.

and my heart still ache for wasted time. time is something i value really alot. sometimes, i see time as the most impt thing. ( okay, maybe i'm a freak/weirdo. ) maybe that explains why i hate it when people aren't punctual. there i am, on time, and there you are, late and you want me to wait for you. you know that equals to wasting my time. and i so value time. 5mins or so is okay. but half an hour or more. man, you should do some self-reflections. and when time slips away, it slips away. i dunno how to describe the feeling i have, it's almost like if you're on a road with your friend and you walked behind her, a car approaches seriously out of nowhere and then she gets knocked down. and you were just directly behind her. you know, you could have save her or whatever. but the thing is you didn't manage to. ah, that kinda pain. wasted time, wasted life. when it's gone, it's simply gone. no matter how much u regret, no matter how much you feel pain, it's gone and never to be back. and you live just this once. why waste time?

and what do you actually want? well, i know what i want.

oh, sorry for which? that you did not pick up? or that you broke the promise? you think 20mins is nothing? have any idea how many maths questions i can do in 20minutes? and you should know your ability better than anyone else. these stuffs, we dun say it. but we all know where we stand. don't we?

i'm off to bed. after the mad maths questions doing and this post, i really dunno what else i can do.
and the guilt arrives tomorrow.

jun.

the confidence to rise. one life.